“Knocked up”


It was over when she got knocked up by her friend’s boyfriend.


Aftermath: Shotgun wedding, baby, divorce, another baby with another guy.


“The Simpsons”

best of secrets!

I knew it was over when, for the fourth time in less than two months, I woke up to him attempting to hide the fact that he had yet again peed his bed. To make matters worse, it was a twin bed covered in sheets portraying “The Simpsons” and he was 33 years old!


Aftermath: Considering the fact that his cousin and best friend found out about his “habit” from my MySpace rant, it didn’t last much longer.


“Sales Director”


The CEO of a company that I worked for called to tell me that my boyfriend, an investor in the company, was having an affair with the Sales Director’s best friend.


Aftermath: I had to ride to business meetings with the Sales Director while she fielded personal calls about bridesmaids’ dresses. When things soured between the cheating couple–they divorced after six months–I endured the Sales Director’s questions about my ex’s moral character.


“World Trade Center”

best of secrets!

He told me he was on the phone with someone in the World Trade Center during the 9/11 terrorist attacks and then saved people in a stranded subway train, and then had qualified for several Ironman Triathlons, and was in a ten-car accident, and…..


Aftermath: I tried to break up Mr. Pathological Liar without saying why. We broke up and he continued to track me for a couple of years.


“The best news”


When I learned he cheated on me, it was the best news I could have had in that moment. It opened my eyes and let me see that I deserved waaay better than a cheater and I shouldn’t be crying for a guy who didn’t even have the guts to tell me to my face that it was over before he started dating another woman.


Aftermath: Now we aren’t friends, not even enemies, I’m just so over him. I’m engaged to the best man in the world, getting married in three weeks, happier than ever and more in love than ever.