I knew my first fiancé wasn’t for me when, a week after my grandfather died, he asked me, “Are you not over it yet?”

—K

Aftermath: Sadly, I didn’t take the hint. I later discovered he slept with the holiday rep on a holiday I paid for. He was promptly dumped and then had the balls to stalk me for 18 months!

He started pulling a pillow between us whenever we slept. He said he didn’t want me to get offended by his breath. Oh come on.

—Cocotambo

Aftermath: It ended after a month.

She was text messaging me non-stop three days after I met her, then on the first date said, “I’m think I’m falling…”

—Malcolm

Aftermath: After the conclusion of the six-hour date, I told her there would be no second date via message.

The first time I went over to his apartment, I saw that he had small Greek columns all over the place and draping cloth tacked up across the walls. It looked like a cheap hotel lobby.

—Shannon

Aftermath: He said I was too immature to be in a real relationship, but I found out later that he had been dating another woman while we were going out, and that they were moving to another state together.

When my date cried not once, not twice, but thrice on our first date when talking about past relationships. It actually wasn’t a bad date up until that point, but I dropped her off at 10:30 pm and went drinking after that.

—JJ

Aftermath: It was over before it began.