She didn’t want me to come over on Friday night because her “friend” was there. Saturday morning, when I went over to take her to breakfast, she had a hickey on her neck that I didn’t put there.

—Merkin

Aftermath: I packed my things and left town. Good luck, slut!

After walking in to my apartment and glancing at my lava lamp she asked, “Is that real lava?”

—Jeremy

Aftermath: We made out and I dumped her a week later.

It was over when I realized that I didn’t love him, that I was in love with someone else, someone who didn’t put the World of Warcraft before me.

—It’s Okay

Aftermath: It lasted another week and I never had the guts to tell the other guy that I loved him. I found out many months later, when I moved across the country, that he had always loved me too.

We had finished having sex for the first time. He jumped up out of bed and said, “I’m going to 7-11. You want me to get you some beef jerky?”

—TPoppins

Aftermath: I broke it off the next day.

It was over when I realized the thing I would miss most about his lying, cheating, sorry ass was his help carrying in the groceries.

—Natahley

Aftermath: We broke up. He moved out. I lugged my heavy groceries up to the fourth floor alone. I met a wonderful man, whom I’m now engaged to. I don’t speak to the loser anymore.