He cried because his favorite band, System of a Down, broke up. He got angry at me, because I wasn’t being emotionally supportive.

—Cynthia

Aftermath: We broke up a week later, and he still holds a grudge…four years later.

32

We went through the drive thru window at fast food place and he ordered a fish sandwich and pronounced it the “fill-ett o’ fish.” He wasn’t joking and I knew he was just too stupid to continue the relationship.

—Alexa

Aftermath: I broke up with him a couple weeks later and it only lasted that long because the sex was good.

12

I wasn’t really sure how much he liked me, and when he told me one day that his uncle had died and he couldn’t have plans because he was going to the funeral, I felt suspicious. I pretty much knew it was over when I resorted to calling a bunch of funeral homes in the region and asking if they were having a service for “Mr. So and So.”

—Jen

Aftermath: It turns out the uncle did die, as I talked to the funeral home where the service was taking place. But my instincts were right; the guy broke things off a few weeks later.

2

I drove 140 miles to console her over getting a ‘B’ on a graduate school exam even though I was terribly ill. During the night she woke me to tell me my breathing was bothering her and could I go sleep on the couch?

—Andy

Aftermath: Four months later, she told me that she sat rocking in a chair and crying all afternoon because she felt all of her friends liked me more than her and she wanted to be the ‘star’ of the relationship.

144

I heard him singing “Oklahoma!” in the shower.

—Becky

Aftermath: We dated another 8 months.

3