“World of Warcraft (redux)”


It was over when I realized that I didn’t love him, that I was in love with someone else, someone who didn’t put the World of Warcraft before me.

—It’s Okay

Aftermath: It lasted another week and I never had the guts to tell the other guy that I loved him. I found out many months later, when I moved across the country, that he had always loved me too.


“Beef jerky”

best of quirks

We had finished having sex for the first time. He jumped up out of bed and said, “I’m going to 7-11. You want me to get you some beef jerky?”


Aftermath: I broke it off the next day.




It was over when I realized the thing I would miss most about his lying, cheating, sorry ass was his help carrying in the groceries.


Aftermath: We broke up. He moved out. I lugged my heavy groceries up to the fourth floor alone. I met a wonderful man, whom I’m now engaged to. I don’t speak to the loser anymore.

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“Chase boys”


He implied that my girlfriends and I went out on the town to chase boys—and he therefore didn’t think I should go out with the girls. Insecurity = not very hot.


Aftermath: I ditched his lame ass and I still never chase boys on girls’ nights.

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best of quirks

I was at the store one day and happened to remember that my skateboarding boyfriend said he needed a new pair of shoelaces. So in an attempt to be a thoughtful girlfriend, I bought him a pair… but it was apparently the wrong kind. When I brought them over the next day, his only response was “If you can’t pay attention to the kind of shoelaces I wear, how can I expect you to understand my needs?”


Aftermath: We were together off and on for about 2 years, but it was high school so that’s pretty much an eternity.

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