It Was Over When: Tales of Romantic Dead Ends » quirks

Over it

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 13:00:27 +0000

I knew my first fiancé wasn’t for me when, a week after my grandfather died, he asked me, “Are you not over it yet?”

—K

Aftermath: Sadly, I didn’t take the hint. I later discovered he slept with the holiday rep on a holiday I paid for. He was promptly dumped and then had the balls to stalk me for 18 months!

Pillow

admin — Wed, 09 May 2012 13:00:31 +0000

He started pulling a pillow between us whenever we slept. He said he didn’t want me to get offended by his breath. Oh come on.

—Cocotambo

Aftermath: It ended after a month.

Eyes rolled back

admin — Tue, 01 May 2012 13:00:17 +0000

His eyes rolled back into his head if he experienced something pleasurable. I could get him to do it by scratching the top of his head. At one point, after he had been acting distant for a few weeks, I started scratching his head and his eyes rolled back for a few seconds before they snapped back into place—he looked at me and asked abruptly, “What are you doing?” All I could do was let my hand drop and respond, “Nothing.”

—Leah

Aftermath: I think we had our “spending some time apart” talk the next morning and officially broke up a few weeks later.

Guilty

admin — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 13:00:50 +0000

When he told me that we couldn’t move in together because he’d feel guilty when he brought other girls home.

—Natalie

Aftermath: Moved in with the guy I was sleeping with before him. He’s living with a guy.

Loofah

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 13:00:14 +0000

He had dilapidated purple loofah gloves hanging in his shower. When I asked him if they belonged to his daughter, he said, “No, they’re mine. I have to keep my skin smooth.” The end.

—Angus La Rue

Aftermath: I broke up with him on the spot and cried my eyes out all the way home.

First dip/Third nip

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:00:09 +0000

We went out on the lake and, after his first dip in the water, I noticed the mole on his chest had reacted to the cold. Triple Nipple is a deal-breaker.

—Jillian

Aftermath: The moment we hit land, I was out.

Drugstore slippers

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 13:00:50 +0000

After two-plus months of dating, he gave me pink, grandma-style drugstore slippers for Christmas. With tassels on them, no less. I spent weeks picking out the perfect gift for him (which cost me about 99% more than what he paid for mine). And the slippers were the wrong size.

—Katy

Aftermath: We broke up the day after Christmas.

Lego Land

admin — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:00:28 +0000

I went over to his house for a chance to spend some romantic time alone. We ended up looking in his basement for his long lost Lego set, and I watched in amazement as he spent over an hour building himself Lego architecture on the floor, smiling like an 8-year-old.

—Clo

Aftermath: I left his house early that night, and about a week later, I ended it and never looked back.

Non-stop

admin — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:00:47 +0000

She was text messaging me non-stop three days after I met her, then on the first date said, “I’m think I’m falling…”

—Malcolm

Aftermath: After the conclusion of the six-hour date, I told her there would be no second date via message.

Boots

admin — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:00:04 +0000

She wore boots, cowboy boots, on our first date.

—Kevin

Aftermath: Nill