“Divorce Dilemma”


I told him I was going home to be with my parents while they were finalizing their divorce. He made a lame commentthen gasped. He said he forgot his parents’ anniversary the week before and spent five minutes trying to remember if he had sent a card or not, if they noticed he hadn’t sent a card, if his dad’s tone of voice had changed on the phone, etc., etc.


Aftermath: I let him stay through the night and then did the mature thing and ignored his calls.




I was exhausted and had to drive five hours at night, through a whiteout snowstorm where I couldn’t see 2 ft. in front of me—let alone the lines on the unfamiliar highway. He slept and disgustingly snored from the passenger seat the entire time!


Aftermath: It was long distance. He went home and we broke up a few weeks later. Haven’t heard much more than an angry text message since then.

Comments Off on Snowstorm

“Too Drunk”

best of manners

After a good night of drinking, he woke me up in the middle of the night leaning on me because he was too drunk and/or lazy to go to the actual bathroom. He just sat up in bed and started peeing off the side of the bed!


Aftermath: I think we may have had another encounter or two, but I just couldn’t get over how obliterated drunk he got.

Comments Off on Too Drunk

“Bed hog”


My cat stopped liking her when she hogged the bed and kicked him out. She also would crowd me on the bed and push me out while she slept or make me too hot to sleep.


Aftermath: About a month later I bought a house, upgraded to a king sized bed and upgraded to being a single man. Now the bed is all mine, the cat is happy and I have free time again!

Comments Off on Bed hog

“Family reunion date”


For our third date he told me we were going to a party, but it ended up being his family reunion. It was weird and awkward for me, and I sat alone and miserable all day with no escape because he drove. He also spent the entire drive there trying to pick fights with everything I said to him and the rest of the time talking about how awesome he was! NOT.


Aftermath: He dropped me home and I deleted his number and never contacted him again.

Comments Off on Family reunion date