We were making out, and suddenly we had to stop. He looked over at me and said in that stupid, gruff, three-pack-a-day voice of his, “I wish we had more time—and a condom.” We had barely been dating three days.
—Lily
Aftermath: I broke up with him probably two days later. (He sucked at kissing too.)
While watching the last “Lord of the Rings” movie, he spent the entire movie whispering to me like an old woman, “Who is that? What are they doing? Is that the bad guy? Where are they going now?“
—Shannon
Aftermath: This made it easy to pull the plug.
I knew it was over when I got all gussied up and he told me I was dressed too nicely for the theater. I should put back on my t-shirt and jeans. Fuck that noise.
—lepetitloup
Aftermath: I packed a truck with all of my books and clothes and moved to Chicago the next day.
Having recently consummated a shiny new romance, I was cuddling on the couch with my new girlfriend. We were wrapped up in her comforter on the couch, watching TV and eating one of those giant chocolate bars. As her hands got smeared with melting chocolate, I watched in horror as she wiped her fingers on the edge of the blanket, then calmly folded over the chocolate-covered corner. I knew it wasn’t going to work right there.
—Rob
Aftermath: The relationship lasted for 6 months, off and on.
She was rubbing my shoulders. My shirt was off, allowing me to feel the warm exhale of her belch before I nosed the cloud of cheeseburger and Clamato gas that engulfed me. She said nothing and kept humming as if nothing had happened.
—William
Aftermath: It was long distance already, making it easy enough to just quit.
