It was over when he told me I had geriatric ovaries. He proceeded to tell me that women who haven’t had children by the time they were 30 are actually considered geriatric and their chance of having Down syndrome babies increases by 30%.

—Katherine

Aftermath: He invited me back to his place for baklava and whiskey because it increased my chances of having a baby without Down syndrome. I declined and never spoke to him again.

I called to tell her I was in a wreck and the car was totalled.

— Jim

Aftermath: She replied “great now what are we gonna do” instead of Are YOU OKAY?

He told me it would be nice to “F” someone beautiful and intelligent and he wasn’t talking about me…

—Tammy

Aftermath: Splitsville

My cheap boyfriend didn’t want to buy a car and wanted to use mine while I could take public transit to work. I knew it was over when he said, “I know it is your car, but I’d like it to be OUR car.”

—mvan

Aftermath: He also wanted me to move out of my apartment to move closer to his new job so it would be convenient to share rent. We broke up shortly after.

It was over when he canceled our dinner plans so he could haze his fraternity’s pledges. On Valentine’s Day.

—M.

Aftermath: I’m never dating a frat boy again.