It Was Over When: Tales of Romantic Dead Ends » manners

Bed hog

admin — Sun, 20 May 2012 13:00:22 +0000

My cat stopped liking her when she hogged the bed and kicked him out. She also would crowd me on the bed and push me out while she slept or make me too hot to sleep.

—Matt

Aftermath: About a month later I bought a house, upgraded to a king sized bed and upgraded to being a single man. Now the bed is all mine, the cat is happy and I have free time again!

Family Reunion

admin — Sat, 19 May 2012 13:00:04 +0000

For our third date he told me we were going to a party, but it ended up being his family reunion. It was weird and awkward for me, and I sat alone and miserable all day with no escape because he drove. He also spent the entire drive there trying to pick fights with everything I said to him and the rest of the time talking about how awesome he was! NOT.

—Aimz

Aftermath: He dropped me home and I deleted his number and never contact him again.

Watch me spin

admin — Fri, 11 May 2012 13:00:01 +0000

I saw a message from a girl on my boyfriend’s MySpace page in which she said mean things about me and called him “better than me.” His response to the message was, “Thanx, come watch me spin at the club.”

—Chloe

Aftermath: It ended many times after that, off-and-on ’cause he kept weaseling his way back into my life.

Louisville

admin — Thu, 03 May 2012 13:00:15 +0000

He came to pick me up for the first date, took one sweeping look around my apartment, went to my bedroom, took off his pants, and got into my bed. He didn’t even ask how my day was. Or take off his shoes.

—Natalie

Aftermath: It took five minutes and a threat with my Louisville anti-theft device to convince him I wasn’t interested.

Size 2

admin — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:00:48 +0000

He said my thighs were huge and then started to talk about his size 2 ex-girlfriend.

—Elizabeth

Aftermath: He never called. I left for college. I got over him.

Second date

admin — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 13:00:03 +0000

For our second date, he told me he was speaking to a crowd and asked, Did I want to come hear him? Turns out it was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. And I had to help set up. I left and went to a bar about half way through.

—Officedog

Aftermath: He called me the next morning and left a voice mail saying we’d been together long enough and it was time he met my kids. I deleted the message.

Ho-Hos

admin — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:00:42 +0000

He sprawled himself out across our bed and ate an entire box of Ho-Hos and didn’t leave anything for me but the wrappers.

—Hungry

Aftermath: Three or so weeks, just long enough to move out. Of course, that was really just the last straw and not the cause of the end. He was a mama’s boy, through and through. Ugh.

Dirty T-shirt

admin — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 13:00:16 +0000

We were set up by friends. He showed up at my house, unshaven, wearing a dirty T-shirt and jeans. We went back to his house where I thought he would shower, shave, etc. Nope. He had some beer. We went bowling and had dinner, and had a good time. I chalked up the beginning to nerves. After dinner, we went back to his house for game of “He Attempts To Grope Me While I Squirm Away.” I finally made him take me home.

—Grace

Aftermath: We never went out again, and I found out a few months later that he was going around town telling people that we’d had sex that night. Pig.

Spit

admin — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 13:00:47 +0000

I was cleaning under my bed and found three 2-liter bottles full of spit and tobacco from his chewing tobacco habit. Later, I found out that he told his parents he had a night job and no girlfriend! We dated for 9 months!

—Chelsea

Aftermath: Lasted more one week and that was only because I wanted him to be in another country for the breakup.

He suggested

admin — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 13:00:10 +0000

After him pursuing me for a while, I finally agreeing to date him. After a few dates and sex, he suggested I lose weight and then we could decide where the relationship was going.

—Michele

Aftermath: I ran into him a few times but we never dated or had sex again. He moved across the county soon after.