“Drew me a graph…”

best of clashes

We were fighting one day and he drew me a graph on his whiteboard of hours spent together vs. utility derived from the relationship. He argued that us going on nice dates is just as good as him sitting on my couch playing video games for eight hours. Not only did he graph our relationship, he completely missed the concept of diminishing marginal utility. Good job, econ major.


Aftermath: We broke up the next morning, and were on and off for a few more months. Maybe his social sciences improved with the next girl.

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best of clashes

He thought that dinosaurs were a conspiracy theory.


Aftermath: I pretended I didn’t hear.

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“Mom broke us up”


It was over when my Mom broke us up. She was my first girlfriend.


Aftermath: She’s marrying another guy in August…you win some, you lose some.

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“Liar Liar”


When asked when I would be ready to start a family by my (now ex) boyfriend, I said, “I have no idea if or when I want to have a family. I have no idea if that will happen for me.” He said, “That’s a lie.” Umm…no.


Aftermath: He continually brought up the same point. I continually gave him the same answer. I hated being called a liar. We broke up.

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“Battlestar Galactica”

best of clashes

He invited me over to watch the new “Battlestar Galactica” miniseries. After it was over, he declared that the decision to run from the Cylons was cowardly, though he acknowledged that to stay and fight meant the end of the human race. A true patriot would have fought anyway, he said. Then he informed me that the show was obviously anti-Iraq war propaganda, and that he was a fervent supporter of President George W. Bush.


Aftermath: I would have ended it right then, but felt bad because we had already purchased tickets to see the premiere of the last “Lord of the Rings” movie with mutual friends a few days later.