clashes

 

“Wrong number, D-bag”

clashes

I got a text one morning from my boyfriend saying last night was really fun and asked if the morning-after pill was making me nauseous. He was 4 hours away in DC for the summer.

— Mags

Aftermath: Initial denial, followed by begging, pleading, apologizing for weeks. The relationship ended, even though he’s convinced we’ll be together again.


Comments Off on Wrong number, D-bag
1

“Cigars or Me?”

clashes

My ex gave me an ultimatum: Stop smoking cigars or else. She thought the smell from my clothes after a cigar would affect a child if she was pregnant. I said that was like me working at Pizza Hut, coming home, and her getting fat from smelling my clothes.

— Nate

Aftermath: She dumped me.

0

“To See What it was Like”

clashes

My boyfriend called to tell me he kissed a man on the roof of a NYC building because he wanted “to see what it was like” but that it didn’t count as cheating…I was pretty sure kissing someone who was not me was cheating.

— Leche

Aftermath: Somehow I stayed with him for a few more months. After we broke up, he tried to be my friend. I refused.

2

“Pawn Stars”

clashes

He popped the question with a ring that he purchased from a pawn shop.

— Tanya

Aftermath: Once I found out, we broke up. He continued to lie unconvincingly about having a brain tumor. I pawned the ring for the top-dollar price of fifty bucks.

1

“First Date, Last Chance”

clashes

After our first date he turned to me and said he was having a party because he was moving out of the state and he really, really wanted me there because it was “our last chance to be together…if you know what I mean.”

— Jen

Aftermath: I did not return any of his calls and two months later I saw him at a restaurant I was at. So much for having  moved out of state!


Comments Off on First Date, Last Chance
1