clashes

 

“Flea-infested cat”

best of clashes

She took all the money inside our joint account and left me with her flea-infested cat. I hate cats.

—Bernard

Aftermath: I had the cat neutered.

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“Photo album”

best of clashes

After a very dull first date, we went to his house where he pulled out photo albums and started showing me pictures of a camping trip with his ex-girlfriend. Even stranger: I was a total doppelganger for her.

Elizabeth

Aftermath: I texted to cancel our next date. He called 9 times, leaving 4 sad messages, the last of which was many minutes long, full of tears & whyyyyy, elizabeth whyyy! I played it on speakerphone for my friends.


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“Obama”

clashes

We were having a great conversation at dinner, full of laughs, and she suddenly changed the subject and shouted in a voice that commanded the whole restaurant’s attention: “I hate politics. My family told me that Obama is going to raise our taxes — and we’re only working-class!” Then she blurted out, “My Dad only makes about $3 million a year, before taxes!”

—Nate

Aftermath: She was spoiled, rude, and uninformed, but more importantly than that, I was a full-time intern on the Obama campaign and a devoted political science major. I never called again.

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“Burger King”

clashes

Went out with a Korean customer recently in the U.S. He called before the date & kept repeating, “Jennifer. Jennifer. I like you. Do you like me?” I went anyway. Our first stop was Burger King. He sat next to me & kept rubbing my leg and I kept removing his hand. No real conversation. Then to a dive bar where he rubbed my leg & still no conversation. In his car, he kept pawing my chest. I had to apply a joint lock to remove his hand.

—Jennifer

Aftermath: It was over at the BK, but I finished the date. A girlfriend who spent time in Korea later told me that most Korean mens’ only exposure to American women was in the movies, and therefore thought we were all “easy.”


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“Lose me”

best of clashes

After a year and a half of being on-and-off, he called to let me know he wasn’t ready to lose me…or the woman two decades older than me that he had begun seeing.

Stormy

Aftermath: It lasted as long as it took me to hang up the phone.

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