“Birthday Hair”

best of clashes

For my boyfriend’s birthday I had gone to a lot of trouble and told him we needed to leave the house by 6:30 or the night’s events would be derailed. At 6:30,  I was sitting on the couch, ready to go. He came out and whined that his hair wasn’t working and said he needed to re-wash it. When he re-washed it two more times (for a total of four hair washings and another hour delay), I knew we were done.


Aftermath: All I could see was how high maintenance he was and we broke up a few months later.

This post was submitted by Elizabeth.

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We were camping on Martha’s Vineyard before the season started with very little to do. One day we decided to have a beer in town. Some local guys were hanging out in the bar and she started flirting the moment we sat down. This was typical behavior for her and I hated it. After she suggested we invite them over, I figured enough was enough. I told her I was walking and she told me she was staying. So I left and sat outside. She came out shortly, totally freaked out that I left her in a dangerous situation.


Aftermath: She stormed off toward the ferry to leave me on the island with our camping equipment. On the way, she realized she had a tick behind her ear and needed me to remove it. This moment of vulnerability and the resulting gratitude sucked me into another couple of months.

This post was submitted by Tom.

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“The Office”

best of clashes

I was sitting on the couch watching The Office when he sat down next to me with his knees up and his feet smooshing mine. It hurt, so I moved my legs. He then proceeded to get up, pout and ignore me for the next two hours. When I finally asked him what the deal was, he said I was watching too much of The Office.

Aftermath: In that two-hour stretch of time he stumped around, slammed doors, went to nap (or so I thought), then grabbed a book and sat Indian-style on our balcony floor. I knew then that I couldn’t take it anymore.

This post was submitted by Bobbie.

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“A Laundry List”

best of clashes

My mom caught me administering a hummer. He canceled as prom date the day before, had to work, I saw him drive by with another girl that night. Never met his family. Knew he liked guys too. I moved to another state. I finally had sex with him. He went to jail, wrote me, I had sex with him when he got out; my boyfriend of five years broke up with me because of that. Found out he was also banging my best friend… and was married.


Aftermath: The entire relationship took ten years of on-and-off to end. I finally said that I would run him over with my car if I ever ever saw him again. I haven’t seen him since.

This post was submitted by Laura.


“Fool me twice”


After dating for a year then getting married, we had a hell of a fight and she wound up staying with a (male) friend for a few days. I went to check on her to discover she had moved, with him, across the country.

—Shame On Me

Aftermath: We patched things up, she came home then slept with a coworker (at the office we both worked in) and I sent her on her way. Divorce papers signed.

This post was submitted by Shame On Me.

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