In an attempt to make my girlfriend jealous back in high school I took her best friend to the winter dance. We made it back to her house and we went right to the bedroom. Clothes started to come off and as I am about to make penetration she looks me right in the eye and says, “Oh Darren, I love you.” Needless to say, I said I wasn’t feeling well and went home.

— Darren

Aftermath: My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and couldn’t be happier. Her friend is now a lesbian.

My drunk boyfriend called and woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me he took my car and to not get mad but he totaled it. Then a girl gets on the phone to tell me he feels really bad…… Hmmm who the hell is this girl? And to top it off it was going to be paid off in 3 months.

— Shelly

Aftermath: The insurance only gave me $12,000 so now I’m driving a Toyota Camry. I’m saving up to buy another Mercedes.

It was over when I got a bag of weed with little hearts drawn on it for Valentine’s Day. I don’t smoke…

—SeelyD

Aftermath: After reminding him that I don’t smoke, he suggested we go out and sell it. We broke up shortly after.

He’s older, great body, total f-up, bankrupt, 2 kids, crazy ex wife, always late. Super nice, very well educated, everyone loves him, great in bed, awesome guy other than what I just mentioned.

—Lola

Aftermath: Five years of living together but I’m not sure now! Thinking of big break-up…help?

He started making plans for a joint vacation (after only four days of knowing each other) to New York’s Chinatown because he wanted “to learn more about my culture.” I’m Korean.

—anem0ne

Aftermath: He was a very clingy, sticky rice queen, so it wasn’t too difficult quitting him.