My prom date and I were playing a board game. I was winning so she threw the board across the room and started crying. While trying to console her she got mad and kicked me in the mouth.

— Justin

Aftermath: I got a new prom date.

I asked him to meet my parents. He declined. A few months later, my father passed away. He then told me he would like to meet my mother. I asked, “Why now?” He said, “Well now that your dad is dead I don’t have to worry about meeting him.”

— @ S |-| L 3 Y

Aftermath: I never talked to him again.

She told me that she was going to fart in front of me at a McDonald’s.

— kyle

Aftermath: We didn’t go to McDonald’s.

One day I was working on a sweet new bass line. I asked her if she wanted to check out my sweet new bass line. She told me my music would take me nowhere.

— Dustin

Aftermath: I told her to leave my house immediately. I’m living the dream. She still works at the movie theater.

My ex picked up a new hobby. Masturbation. Chronic masturbation. To top it off he would make his “deposit” in black T-shirts and leave them around the house.

— Becky

Aftermath: Divorce and a huge child support payment to me. Now the “deposit” is in my bank account.