“Mama’s boy”

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I met his family on our first date. His mother talked about how our kids would have big butts because of me. He told me he didn’t like my piercings and he wanted me to take them out. He also said he didn’t want kids yet.


Aftermath: We went on one more date, for his birthday, and hung out with his family again. He dumped me the day after by saying he was moving. He is now engaged to a girl I went to high school with who has a kid.

This post was submitted by Gwen.

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“Athiest morals”

best of clashes

He told me that he didn’t believe you can have morals if you weren’t raised in the church. My dad is an atheist and my mother a lapsed Lutheran. I am also an atheist; he knew all of this.


Aftermath: We broke up a few months later, remained roommates for a few more months after that. We are both in the process of moving out. We are still best friends.


“LSAT sleepover”


The night before the LSAT exam, my boyfriend drove his fancy car to my place instead of his Mazda, even though I live in a shady neighborhood. He kept me up all night because he would look out the window at every noise he heard to make sure the car was OK. Took the LSAT on 0 hours of sleep. The next day, having taken the LSAT and having been awake for 40 hours, I escorted him and his family to a tractor pull at a county fair. He whined that I was selfish and never did what he wants to do.


Aftermath: Three to four weeks later. LSAT results were in. I ended up getting 11 points lower than I had ever gotten on my lowest practice LSAT— all because I was sleep deprived because of his stupid car.

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“Flea-infested cat”

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She took all the money inside our joint account and left me with her flea-infested cat. I hate cats.


Aftermath: I had the cat neutered.


“Photo album”

best of clashes

After a very dull first date, we went to his house where he pulled out photo albums and started showing me pictures of a camping trip with his ex-girlfriend. Even stranger: I was a total doppelganger for her.


Aftermath: I texted to cancel our next date. He called 9 times, leaving 4 sad messages, the last of which was many minutes long, full of tears & whyyyyy, elizabeth whyyy! I played it on speakerphone for my friends.

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