“Vibrating Pen”

best of chemistry

We had been dating off and on for a year, and he was moving to a different state. To say good-bye, he showed up at my work with a present: A vibrating pen that made squiggly lines that he stole from his niece. He told me to think of him every time I “used” it… as a sex toy.


Aftermath: Let’s just say it was VERY easy to get over him. And I threw the pen in the trash as soon as he left!

This post was submitted by Nicole.

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“Arthur Andersen”


We were coworkers at a dotcom startup in 2000. He liked to namedrop Arthur Andersen and his previous consulting work for them. I asked him out and he said, “Sorry, you’re not Jewish and my mom wouldn’t like it.”


Aftermath: Okee dokee. The Enron scandal breaking afterward was pretty awesome.

This post was submitted by Shannon.

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“Merry Christmas to Me”


My long distance boyfriend of over a year didn’t even text me an “I love you” on Christmas, after saying how badly he wanted me to be there with him and how we’d talk every chance we could.


Aftermath: I still haven’t heard from him.

This post was submitted by Annoyed.

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“Lost Boy”

best of chemistry

We met online and, after a few months, set up a date. He was supposed to arrive @ 7 p.m. He didn’t show until 11:30 p.m. Kept getting lost and calling me from various “lost” locations. I’m sorry, only an idiot would get this lost. Nonetheless, I kept the date and let Lost Boy into my home. At 12:30am, I yawned. He shot up from his chair and barked at me: “Sorry if I’m keeping you up or anything” and ran out the door.


Aftermath: A few days later, he texted me and wanted to make sure I wasn’t mad. I ignored it and vowed to myself to never sign up on an Internet dating site EVER again.

This post was submitted by Kim.

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“The Risk”


I heard the accent and realized that he was from another country. Despite the circumstances and my staunch refusal to fall in love, it happened. When I told him (we were now official) how I felt, he said that I was the perfect person for him, but that I wasn’t worth the risk on his heart.


Aftermath: After many tears, we are still trying to be friends, but if I am the perfect person for him, I’d love to meet who he WOULD be willing to risk his heart for.

This post was submitted by Natalia.