A woman I was dating told me that she moved to our state because they can’t garnish her wages for child support for her 3 children that she left with her ex-husband and hadn’t contacted in 2 years.

— Randy

Aftermath: I never called her again.

He took me to Victoria’s Secret.

— Marianne

Aftermath: To buy himself panties.

After 5 years he told me that I killed his dreams.

— Amber

Aftermath: I told him to move out.

He told me that I would read about him in the papers when he kills himself.

— Miss Liss

Aftermath: We haven’t spoken since.

She had a tendency to turn into the world’s most overly sympathetic, somewhat embarrassing LGBT advocate when drunk, to the point of making one wonder whether or not she used to have a penis herself.

— No room

Aftermath: Never found out for sure.