“5 minutes”


I knew it was over when he said he’d call me in 5 minutes. Five minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years went by and I never heard from him again.


Aftermath: After a while I tried to call but I had forgotten his number. I guess that was that.

This post was submitted by Maria.

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“He Left a Note”


He had left a note for me stating that he knew that I didn’t love him anymore. He was right, so I left a note for him confirming this, (I had school all day and wouldn’t be seeing him again until late that night). Later, I found out that he wasn’t planning on moving out and that he wanted to co-exist in my one bedroom apartment.


Aftermath: I told him to leave. I couldn’t understand why he’d want to continue living together knowing good and well that it was over.


“My Jeans”

best of chemistry

He found my jeans on the floor and pulled them on, thinking they were his. They fit. And they looked kinda good. And he danced around in them for a second, reveling in the fit.


Aftermath: We broke up for other less ambiguously gay reasons not long after. but this is the horrifying moment I remember, over and over again..

This post was submitted by k.


“King’s English”

best of chemistry

I dated a guy who was way into the Society for Creative Anachronisms and wanted me to join because I owned a horse and his “kingdom” needed a jouster. I dumped him when he mandated that we only speak in the King’s English to each other.


Aftermath: Last I heard, he thought he was a neo-romantic a la Bryan Ferry. At least he’s in this century now.

This post was submitted by Anastasia.

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best of chemistry

She couldn’t cook, I love to. Great dinner on the stove, she pops the fridge and proceeds to chow down on chips and dip. Then, “I’m not hungry.”


Aftermath: Things went downhill from there pretty fast. Serious heartburn, but hey, life goes on. Always vet the eating habits. The good part: Funny, exciting, ooh the sex. The breakup came after 4 months living together. No amount of bed fun can outweigh something you do three times daily.

This post was submitted by Chris.