chemistry

 

“Puppy Love”

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I met a guy who worked at Pet Smart, and we went on a date the next Friday. We went back to my place, and I went to put on my sexy lingerie. I came out to my date simulating doggy-style sex with my dog. I proceeded to watch him slap my dog’s *ss. After I interrupted the two, he said my dog had a nice *ss.

—Andrew

Aftermath: I had to give my dog up for adoption. Unfortunately for Rover, he ended up with an adoption agency that was located in the same Pet Smart the guy worked at. The agency called me a day after giving him up, saying Rover had been adopted.

This post was submitted by Andrew.

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“I’ll take my chances”

chemistry

She wanted to get married so she would be less likely to cheat on me while in college.

— CplTony

Aftermath: I heard from her mother she was pregnant from another guy about 2 months later.

This post was submitted by CplTony.


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“Psychic Jack Russell”

chemistry

My Jack Russell Terrier kept pissing on my ex-wife while she was in bed.

— Jason

Aftermath: A few months later she told me she was divorcing me because I was holding her back.

This post was submitted by Jason.

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“Man on Man”

chemistry

My best guy friend and my fiance were hanging out. My fiance looked over to my friend and asked, “What do you think about man on man sex?” He was propositioning him.

— Mackenzie

Aftermath: I asked my fiance if he was gay and sure enough. Good to know before I walked down the aisle with him.

This post was submitted by Mackenzie.


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“Outdoor Plumbing”

chemistry

I found that my fiance had taken a large plastic funnel, put a urinal cake in it, put a hose on it, nailed the entire contraption to a corner in his ATTACHED garage and ran the hose through a hole in the wall. Too lazy to walk 15 steps to the bathroom.

— I’mOut

Aftermath: I broke off the engagement and have never spoken to him again.

This post was submitted by I'mOut.


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