chemistry

 

“There she is”

best of chemistry

On our third date, I met a guy at his house. He was showing me pictures in a photo album. When he came to a picture of himself, he said “There she is, in all her finest!”

—Brian

Aftermath: We did not have a fourth date.

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12

“Bigfoot”

best of chemistry sex

He got skunked in beer pong, a drinking game. The house rules dictated he had to run a naked lap through the woods. Seeing his naked body in the moonlight, I noticed that he looked a lot like photos of Bigfoot sightings.

—Summer

Aftermath: Long enough for me to find out that it’s true that a man loses one inch of “manhood” for every 10 pounds of extra weight.

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14

“Mom’s approval”

chemistry

I realized it was over when I wanted to spend more time with my mom and her 25-year-old boyfriend than with my boyfriend.

—poemgirl

Aftermath: I used my mom as an excuse to dump him — “she didn’t approve” of my dating him.

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2

“Hooters T-shirt”

best of chemistry

When I was 19, I dated this country boy while I was home from college for the summer. I knew it wouldn’t work when he showed up for a date one night in a Hooters T-shirt, cut-off shorts and high-top shoes. Then we went to a gravel pit and made out in the back of his pickup.

—Summer

Aftermath: It was fun while it lasted (about a week), but we would never have made it past that “What does it all mean?” conversation.

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12

“Funky smell”

chemistry weird

One day I realized that funky smell emanating from my husband was creamed corn.

—Jenn

Aftermath: Sadly, the relationship lasted ten LOOOONG years after that. I finally kicked him to the curb when he carried me across the house by my neck, in front of our child. Should’ve left when he just stunk.

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