He took me over to his house for the first time and when I sat on the bed there was kitty litter and cat hair all over it.

—Amelie

Aftermath: Three or four more dates. I ended it when he told me he was bi-sexual but was in love with me.

2

We realized that the movie “Away We Go” was too much to hold hands through because we were never going to be that in love.

—Ramona

Aftermath: I haven’t heard from him since he left the next morning.

10

He cried because he was afraid to go home to his family’s house for Christmas. His mother has a giant collection of puffy paints. His dad turned the spare bedroom into a meditation room, complete with rock garden. His siblings drew names out of a hat to see who got to put the angel on top of the tree. Terrifying. Also, one time he cried because he was afraid to go on a hike in the park.

—Noel

Aftermath: I slept with his best friend. Made both of them cry. God, I’m such a bitch.

10

We went to a pub on our third date, planning on meeting up with friends. They waited for us at the table while we went up to the bar. I ordered a Guinness. I had never heard of what he ordered, but the bartender came back with my beer and a glass of something bright pink and girly. I made him drink it at the bar.

—Amy

Aftermath: I broke up with him the next day.

3

An unfortunate event led me to meet a hippie chick as a blind date. I was half-heartedly listening to her spout off the many ways she was thrifty as avid recycler and a freegan who rummaged through back alleys for clothing and used the Mooncup Menstrual Cup (blagh!). The world stood still for me when she said she did not use toilet paper. Instead, she used rags and washed them for reuse.

—Joshua

Aftermath: She sent emails, but I blew her off.

9