I knew it was over when he kissed me. He had a stubby little tongue that stabbed into my mouth. It grossed me out.
–Jenny
Aftermath: I stuck around long enough to find out that his penis did the same thing as his tongue. When I found out he cheated on me, I felt bad for the girl who was stuck with him.
We were talking after sex one night, and she mentioned that the environmental movement was a secret government plot to keep us scared and obedient. I’m am energy efficiency consultant and activist who takes my impact on the Earth very seriously. I asked her if she knew what her statement meant for me. She responded “Well, you can’t blame me if you’re wasting your life.”
—Ran3dy
Aftermath: After coming to terms that she was dead serious, I asked her to leave. It was midnight and she lived 50 miles away, but I couldn’t stand the thought of wasting another minute of my life with her.
My parents were not happy about him not being Jewish, so they cut me off and I had to pay my college tuition myself. While I was trying to figure out my work schedule between my two jobs, he accused me of being money hungry for wanting to work so much.
—Marla
Aftermath: A few months later I broke up with him. I was working two jobs; he was playing Playstation 3 all day.
He suddenly said it would be nice if I had long hair, weighed 10 lbs less (although I was very thin) and was 4 inches shorter.
—An
Aftermath: He finally ended back in the arms of his ex-girlfriend. She fit that description.
After an hour of wrenchingly dull dinner conversation, we finally got to the “What’s your favorite…?” portion of the evening. I asked her what kind of music she liked, and the first thing that came to her mind was Marilyn Manson. At first I laughed it off and asked what else she listened to. She thought…really hard…for nearly two minutes (I timed it on my watch)…and wasn’t sure, though she volunteered that “Fergie is sorta cool, ya know, like, ya know.”
—Nate
Aftermath: As if that wasn’t bad enough, we cuddled harmlessly that night (at her rather pushy prompting) and I found out later from our mutual friend that she was going around telling people I tried to cop a feel.
