“Sick Bubblegum”


He had just gotten home from a family reunion out west and, wanting to surprise him, I went over to his apartment without telling him. As I pull up to the building, I hear a voice scream “SICK BUBBLEGUM!!” and then this absolutely massive, awful racket coming from the fourth floor. I look up, and as it turns out, that’s him, chilling out on his balcony with these giant speakers I never knew he had.

— nobassforme

Aftermath: Put off but determined, I went up to his apartment, and called his phone to let me in. He immediately came out, so I asked him what he was playing. with a perplexed look, he replied it was Skrillex, and when I asked if he could please turn it off so we could chat, he scowled, screamed “love me, love my bass!!”, and slammed the door in my face. Never heard from him again, except for that awful noise every time I drive by his house..

This post was submitted by nobassforme.

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“Hello. Goodbye.”

chemistry sex

I knew it was over when he told me he didn’t really like The Beatles. In fact, he thought they were the most overrated band in history. I could tolerate his inabilities in the bedroom, but this was too much.


Aftermath: We broke up about a week or so later. And I found a guy who liked The Beatles AND wasn’t bad in bed. Double upgrade.

This post was submitted by Rae.


“He deserves better”


I realized I didn’t appreciate the things that made him happy and excited. And I would put him down for it. He deserves better.

—My Fault

Aftermath: I will file for divorce to free him for someone he deserves.

This post was submitted by My Fault.


“Missing teeth”


Moved to a new city with her, and found out she was doing drugs. I was on my way home and she was leaving with her ex-boyfriend.


Aftermath: Last time I heard, she was missing all her teeth and can’t manage to stay out of jail beacause of Meth.

This post was submitted by hitch.

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“Not So Handy”


We were hanging out for the first time and decided to goof off in Wal-mart for awhile. We were in the sports section when he held up a was equivalent to a child holding a beach ball. I couldn’t believe how tiny his hands were.


Aftermath: We talked for awhile after that but we just never clicked.

This post was submitted by B.