chemistry

 

“Scotsmen vs. Englishmen”

chemistry

We had unsatisfying sex a few weeks in, and while snuggling afterward, he told me that he was a Scotsman, and Scottish men were better than Englishmen, because Englishmen kick their women out of bed after sex. He droned on a bit about how awesome he was because he was Scottish. I told him I was Polish and didn’t care.

—Jennifer

Aftermath: One more date after that. I gave him another chance in the sex department, and in the middle of it, he said “I’m falling in love with you.” By the way, he still lived with his mother.


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“Cat hair”

chemistry

He took me over to his house for the first time and when I sat on the bed there was kitty litter and cat hair all over it.

—Amelie

Aftermath: Three or four more dates. I ended it when he told me he was bi-sexual but was in love with me.


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“Away We Go”

best of chemistry

We realized that the movie “Away We Go” was too much to hold hands through because we were never going to be that in love.

—Ramona

Aftermath: I haven’t heard from him since he left the next morning.


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“Mix tapes full of R.E.M.”

best of chemistry

This guy was painfully shy around me, never spoke; he could only write letters and send mix tapes full of R.E.M. to express himself. He was intense, artistic, mysterious, and pretty cute—so I tried to make something work. One night, we had a drink and went for a walk. He started to talk, open up, then stumble around and fall down. Then declared that he loved me. He was so drunk, I had to carry him home and put him to bed. I guess the only way we could converse was if he was smashed.

—Sasha

Aftermath: We never spoke of that night. In fact, we never spoke again. Technically, we weren’t even dating, as that supposes a two way street of shared experiences—and there was nothing but awkward silence.


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“There she is”

best of chemistry

On our third date, I met a guy at his house. He was showing me pictures in a photo album. When he came to a picture of himself, he said “There she is, in all her finest!”

—Brian

Aftermath: We did not have a fourth date.


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