best-of

 

“A Laundry List”

best of clashes

My mom caught me administering a hummer. He canceled as prom date the day before, had to work, I saw him drive by with another girl that night. Never met his family. Knew he liked guys too. I moved to another state. I finally had sex with him. He went to jail, wrote me, I had sex with him when he got out; my boyfriend of five years broke up with me because of that. Found out he was also banging my best friend… and was married.

—Laura

Aftermath: The entire relationship took ten years of on-and-off to end. I finally said that I would run him over with my car if I ever ever saw him again. I haven’t seen him since.

This post was submitted by Laura.

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“Ass Tufts”

best of chemistry

He liked naked time and got mirrored closet doors. I saw him bend over repeatedly while changing the sheets on the bed. OMFG is he hairy!

—MissDruid

Aftermath: I gotta get away from here!

This post was submitted by MissDruid.

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“Serial Killer”

best of weird

I dated this gal for a month and she told me she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I replied with “But your head would explode.” She said that was fine, if it were for me. Then I asked her if she would still love me if I was a serial killer. She said yes!

Max Armbar

Aftermath: Needless to say, I did not kill multiple people to see if she was telling the truth. I just got the heck out of Dodge.

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“Farmville”

best of sex

Half way through sex, my boyfriend looked at the clock and said, “Oh crap its 4:25 my crops are going to wither!” and proceeded to go to the computer to harvest his crop on Farmville, an online game.

—Sandra

Aftermath: I left and never went back.

This post was submitted by Sandra.

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“Boozy Kiss”

best of manners

We only see each other when we’re not sober. We made out for the first time and he kept burping his beer breath into his kisses.

—losersloveme

Aftermath: Made him burp the rest out but nothing happened after that.

This post was submitted by losersloveme.

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