best-of

 

“Obituary”

best of secrets!

It should have been over the day I found out he had created a Match.com account “just to see if anyone would respond.” Fast forward 6 years of never-completely-off / never-completely-sure-if-we-were-on, his father was terminally ill. I feel awful for him and agree to “try again” because he swore I was what was missing in his life, and the only one for him…

—FARM

Aftermath: Reading his father’s obituary, he was listed as having a wife. A what? I sent my condolences to him and his wife via text message, along with the fact that I never wanted to hear from him again.


Comments Off on Obituary
0

“Crappy Present”

best of weird

After a four-year relationship, he gave me a toilet seat for my birthday present. He said: “I knew you needed one and I couldn’t think of what else to get you.” And he didn’t even wrap it!

—Wanda

Aftermath: Unfortunately, I’m reminded of him every day, actually several times a day.

0

“Warcraft”

best of chemistry

I knew it was over when he bought me a copy of World of Warcraft for my 18th birthday.

—AllyCatraz

Aftermath: It officially ended on our two-year anniversary, when he called me to say he wouldn’t be picking me up from work because he “just got into a group for a raid” in on the online game. We’re still friends though.


Comments Off on Warcraft
0

“Girl Hands”

best of chemistry

I met a wonderful, smart, attractive man who was, surprisingly, interested in pursuing a relationship. It was fun, sexy, and the most “adult” relationship I’ve had to date. I should have known, though, that as soon as I saw his girl hands—his tiny, tapered, dainty fingers—I had found my deal-breaker. Unless he planned on mountain-climbing bare-handed to toughen those bad boys up, there was no way they were coming near me again.

—Lydia

Aftermath: We dated for a few months, but the hands, combined with growing emotional dependence, sent me running. We’re still friends. He doesn’t know why I really broke it off.

0

“Wedding Chapel”

best of weird

He partied a lot and I was getting out of a 5-year relationship, so I wasn’t looking for anything. We took a last-minute trip to Vegas for my birthday. On the 2nd day of our 6-day trip, he took me to the little white wedding chapel and actually asked me to marry him. Of course, he was crazed out on all sorts of pills and he fell over while proposing! I left him on the ground and told him it wasn’t going to work out.

—Paula

Aftermath: I had the best time in Vegas after leaving him. I got an upgraded room thanks to winnings. We sat on the plane together and he said I would have to take a taxi home because I had no friends. Of course, my ride showed up before his.


Comments Off on Wedding Chapel
0