best-of

 

“A Fun Guy”

best of chemistry

My boyfriend and I were always laughing and having fun. We both had the same quirky sense of humor and enjoyed the same activities and even shared a passion: salsa dancing. It was a constant joy fest when we were together. But, for various (and really, pretty lame) reasons he decided I was not the right one to marry and he just had to be married. Even though he admitted that he would never again meet anyone with whom he could have so much fun he cried out in pitifully: “I don’t want to have fun, I want to be happy!!” Oh-hhh-K.

—Ginger

Aftermath: He has now traded in joyfulness and fun for ho-hum mediocrity with a new lady. What he really needed is someone to control. That’s his idea of happiness.

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“Right?”

best of sex

I broke up with my boyfriend for a number of reasons, which I clearly told him: 1) I didn’t love him anymore and 2) I had cheated on him the night before. His tearful response was, “We can still have sex, right?” Um, “No dude, we cannot, and by asking that question you just denied yourself that chance, which yes, probably would have happened.”

–Wes

Aftermath: We did not have sex ever again, but there was one drunken make-out session many, many months later. He also went crazy and somewhat stalked me.

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“Birthday Hair”

best of clashes

For my boyfriend’s birthday I had gone to a lot of trouble and told him we needed to leave the house by 6:30 or the night’s events would be derailed. At 6:30,  I was sitting on the couch, ready to go. He came out and whined that his hair wasn’t working and said he needed to re-wash it. When he re-washed it two more times (for a total of four hair washings and another hour delay), I knew we were done.

–Elizabeth

Aftermath: All I could see was how high maintenance he was and we broke up a few months later.

This post was submitted by Elizabeth.

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“Daddy”

best of weird

On our second date, we had just ordered our drinks. She took this time to tell me that she and her kids thought I would make a great step dad.

–Doug

Aftermath: It was over before the waitress took our meal order.

This post was submitted by Doug.

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“A Stretch”

best of manners

A month into the relationship, we went to the pool and afterward he asked me why I had stretch marks. I said, I was probably 40 pounds heavier before he knew me. He proceeded with the question, “Did you have a baby? You had a baby, that’s why you have stretch marks.”

–Kat

Aftermath: I was 17. I was not pregnant, I was just fat. I dumped him a few days later. He broke into my house to watch me sleep and profess that we were meant to be together. I got a restraining order because he started to stalk me.

This post was submitted by kat.

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