best-of

 

“Hygiene”

best of sex

After journeying across country for a visit, he tried to go down on me and instead stuck his balls in my face. When I realized the musky smell was from lack of hygiene, I slept on the couch the rest of the visit.

—Taylor

Aftermath: When I got home, we exchanged a few texts but he got the hint with my lack of communication and disgust when he mentioned having sex with him again.


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“Blubbering Fits”

best of weird

Moved in with my fiancé when I was 19. He started banging his head against the wall at night and having weird blubbering fits. Then he slit his throat in the bathroom. While in the psych ward (where I visited faithfully and allowed him to blame me for his crazy), he cheated on me and then wanted to date us both at the same time!

—Carol

Aftermath: I did go on a few dates with them—and then found my self-esteem. He is now heavily medicated and still single.

This post was submitted by Carol.

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“Dirty downloads”

best of manners

We had been out on a few dates and I wanted him to meet my best friend and her boyfriend. We all decided to meet at a nice restaurant. Everything was going fine until he opened his phone and started showing my best friend all the porn he had downloaded.

—Jillian

Aftermath: It was over two weeks later.


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“Plan Eh?”

best of chemistry

After sex, I thought it would be a good idea to take Plan B and made my boyfriend go get it from the pharmacy. Upon his return, he told me not to take it and that having a baby would be fun. Or if not, he hoped we could rent one for the day.

—Erica

Aftermath: Two months later….I realized his incessant need for marriage and children after 4 months, at age 24, was a little too much for me. The kicker? I broke up with him and he claimed he had been planned on breaking up with me all along.


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“Spielberg’s Purple Jaws”

best of clashes

During the 2009 Golden Globes there was a tribute to Steven Spielberg. He said, “Spielberg didn’t direct Jaws.” I said “What?!” He said, “He may have produced it, but he didn’t direct it.”

Pause. “He didn’t direct The Color Purple, either.”

—Dirks

Aftermath: I moved out.

This post was submitted by Dirks.

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