best-of

 

“Daddy”

best of weird

On our second date, we had just ordered our drinks. She took this time to tell me that she and her kids thought I would make a great step dad.

–Doug

Aftermath: It was over before the waitress took our meal order.

This post was submitted by Doug.

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“A Stretch”

best of manners

A month into the relationship, we went to the pool and afterward he asked me why I had stretch marks. I said, I was probably 40 pounds heavier before he knew me. He proceeded with the question, “Did you have a baby? You had a baby, that’s why you have stretch marks.”

–Kat

Aftermath: I was 17. I was not pregnant, I was just fat. I dumped him a few days later. He broke into my house to watch me sleep and profess that we were meant to be together. I got a restraining order because he started to stalk me.

This post was submitted by kat.

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“The Office”

best of clashes

I was sitting on the couch watching The Office when he sat down next to me with his knees up and his feet smooshing mine. It hurt, so I moved my legs. He then proceeded to get up, pout and ignore me for the next two hours. When I finally asked him what the deal was, he said I was watching too much of The Office.

Aftermath: In that two-hour stretch of time he stumped around, slammed doors, went to nap (or so I thought), then grabbed a book and sat Indian-style on our balcony floor. I knew then that I couldn’t take it anymore.

This post was submitted by Bobbie.

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“Every Three Seconds”

best of sex

He initiated every time we had sex, and each time he would switch positions every 3 seconds, making for a terrible experience… I really knew it was over when I woke up to him masturbating next to me… I just wanted to shower.

M

Aftermath: About 3 weeks later, after some of the most boring sex of my life, I broke it off. We are still friendly, but I just couldn’t get past that.

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“Subtitles”

best of manners

I knew it was over when his mom started speaking to him in Russian and he answered back in Russian–leaving me totally out of the loop and standing around like an idiot.

–Kat

Aftermath: We broke up. No subtitles required.

This post was submitted by Kat.

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