“Kegel Homework”

best of sex

We were having sex and he asked me if I could “tighten my sh*t up.” I hopped off. He kissed my shoulder and passed out drunk.

—He was a good kisser

Aftermath: Never talked to him again.

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“Dumb A**”

best of sex

He asked if the blow job I gave him the night before could have gotten me pregnant.


Aftermath: I spent a couple of weeks in denial before I finally broke it off, but I felt so much better once I did.

This post was submitted by Ann.


“You Had Time”

best of weird

It was over when I told him that I needed a few days to myself because I was feeling smothered, then he sent me an instant message 8 hours later to see if I’d had enough time yet.


Aftermath: I signed off AIM and ignored his calls that day, then I broke up with him the next day in person. He sobbed.

This post was submitted by Amy.

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best of weird

I destroyed myself over this boy, who was a f**king yo-yo. First, he was in love with me, then not-feeling-it, then we were friends-who-cuddle, then I-don’t-have-those-feelings-anymore, then we-are-soulmates. Problem was: After the soulmate phase, we went different directions for summer and he got a girlfriend and didn’t bother to mention it to me until the fall. But he hopes we could still be great friends. Oh, and he “still has feelings” and wanted to come see me to “talk it out.”


Aftermath: He still wants to be friends. I don’t. A waste of 2 years of my life.

This post was submitted by morgan.

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“Lake Superior”

best of weird

I once met a girl at a bar. Actually it was an open bar. Dangerous stuff. We went back to her apartment. The next morning the bed was covered with pee. Every square inch soaked. Even the pillows were wet. It was either her, or me, or her fat angry cat.  I suspect the cat. We didn’t talk about the elephant in the room, or the Lake Superior on her bed.

—Jack Diamond

Aftermath: There was no second “date.”