“Ask the Cat”

best of chemistry

It was over when he asked his cats what I wanted to do that day. In a doggy voice.

—Mizz Gooch

Aftermath: I f***ing hate cats. Only later did I find out that he named one of his cats after his favorite porn star.

This post was submitted by Mizz Gooch.

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“Sex Drive”

best of sex

I was going down on this girl, working pretty hard, and all of a sudden she says, totally deadpan, “I would really be enjoying this if my medication didn’t kill my sex drive.”


Aftermath: I finished the deed that night, but broke off contact shortly thereafter.

This post was submitted by Tom.

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“Down South”

best of sex

On our first date we headed to the car for some making out. After parking somewhere and getting it started in the back seat, Round 1 ended. Round 2 starts and I’m down south and he farts. “Oops, sorry babe…”


Aftermath: It didn’t smell, but for some reason my stomach hurts every time I think about it.

This post was submitted by vic1986.

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“Internet Love”

best of chemistry

I knew it was over before it began. We met over the Internet and began the most intense, loving, honest relationship either of us had ever had. We had said we would meet one day but due to issues in both our lives, that never seemed to happen.


Aftermath: 9 months later, we realized it was too perfect and magical to work in real life. I don’t regret a single day.


“Punching Bag”

best of clashes

When I was in high school, I dated a guy for about 7 months. He would randomly punch lockers and bleachers in fits of rage. I told him I didn’t want to be a battered woman and broke it off with him.


Aftermath: He’s been in jail three times for domestic abuse.

This post was submitted by Dana.

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