best-of

 

“Firm Objections”

best of sex

All this happened during a third date: He persistently poked me hard in the ribs, despite my firm objections, attempted to pick my nose several times (again, objections were expressed), and when I was just about to say “I don’t think this going to work out,” he got up, sauntered into his bedroom and said “I’m going to bed. When you come in, be naked.”

—Laura

Aftermath: I left quietly as soon as he closed the door. Never heard from him again.

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“Mustang Misses”

best of secrets!

I was showing off my brand new Mustang, she asked for the keys. I could hear the engine rev down the street and then stop. The dog and I took a walk, and found the car—my girlfriend was on the hood with her neighbor’s hand very far up her skirt.

—Bob

Aftermath: I drove home five hours devastated. We got back together a month later; she did it again. That was the final end.

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“Chicken Dinner”

best of manners

I knew it was over when he called me up and told me to bring him chicken dinner and to also bring over some lotion so that I can give him a foot rub and a handjob! I only knew him for a week!!
—Jenny

Aftermath: After that, I got off the phone with him and I changed my number. I only saw him once after that. He tried to flag me down and I floored it.

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