best-of

 

“WINNER! Transformers”

best of chemistry

He spent the majority of his half of the rent money on Transformers toys and Magic playing cards. One day, I came home from work and found my unemployed boyfriend (a grown man) on the living room floor with all his Transformers lined up perfectly, like a little army. He was playing with them.

—Leslie

Aftermath: Being a good sport at the time, I bought him Unicron, the “king” of all Transformers, for Christmas. It was the best day of his life!

This post was submitted by Leslie.


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“WINNER! Plain Nuts”

best of quirks

I was eating almonds from a can and asked if he wanted any. He took the can and counted out the correct portion as stated on the nutritional information—then only ate those almonds.

—Teagan

Aftermath: We stopped seeing each other about a week later.

This post was submitted by Teagan.

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“Final Straw”

best of sex

I was off and on with a guy who had a massive drinking problem. One night he got drunk and tried to kill me, saying that he wanted me to hate him. I stayed because I thought I could help him, but things never got better. The final straw was when he called me one day asking me if I would have sex with him in front of some creepy old man for money. I told him never to contact me again!

—Crystal

Aftermath: After almost 2 years of being off and on, that phone call made something click and after his million sorrys I just didn’t care anymore. My stress level has decreased and I’m much happier now.

This post was submitted by Crystal.

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“WINNER! SportsCenter Cover”

best of secrets!

After turning me down for a night of intimacy (yet again!), he said he wanted to stay up and watch SportsCenter on ESPN. I went to bed, but had a hard time sleeping because of the volume. I went to ask him to turn it down, but he was not in the living room. I found him in the office, jerking off to porn.

—Michelle

Aftermath: Turns out he has an addiction to porn—not so much interested in the real thing. This was handy to find out after being married to him. This, among, many other things led to our divorce.

This post was submitted by Michelle J..

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“Proper English”

best of

I got an IM that read: “i want to take a nap with you lol not in a lovey dovey way lmao.”

I prefer to be wooed in Standard English, with bonus points for AP or Chicago Style.

—anem0ne

Aftermath: I stopped responding to his messages, and explained that it was because we weren’t compatible.

This post was submitted by anem0ne.

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