We went on a date despite the fact that she had just given birth three months ago (I didn’t ask and didn’t care). We were making out in my car and she kept complaining that her boobs hurt when she didn’t “remove” the milk. She asked me if I wanted to see them. As a guy, I would NEVER turn down the sight of boobs. I thought it was an invitation to upcoming sex, but I was DEAD wrong. She relieved herself by squirting milk all over the inside of my car, dashboard, rear-view mirror…

—Accol

Aftermath: Ever try scrubbing breast milk off the inside of your car? Didn’t think so.

57

I couldn’t believe I had found a guy who shared my appreciation of ABBA and Liza Minnelli…until he told me “I’m not straight, but don’t worry, I don’t actually want to sleep with guys.”

—Amy

Aftermath: He lost his beard that day. He still can’t understand why I won’t just look past his orientation.

14

When he told me that we couldn’t move in together because he’d feel guilty when he brought other girls home.

—Natalie

Aftermath: Moved in with the guy I was sleeping with before him. He’s living with a guy.

8

I knew it wouldn’t last long after she told me that I had passed her guy “date-ability” list, missing only one out of 34 requirements. I thought she was kidding until she showed me the actual checked off list.

—LA boy

Aftermath: One week.

1

After dating for awhile, her boss met me at a party and liked me better. He started asking her to get my advice on things. She lost her limelight to me. I knew it was over when she asked me to delete “certain things” we had done on video.

—Science

Aftermath: We slept together one more time after the break up just because it was always wild. Not heard from her since.

1