best-of

 

“Knight in Fuzzy Carpet”

best of weird

My parents just carpeted our downstairs and my boyfriend at the time asked me if we had any carpet left. So I said yes and gave it to him without thinking what he needed it for. The next day he showed up to school wearing the carpet in the form of armor. And wore it for the entire day.

—Shauna

Aftermath: We broke up soon after this happened.

This post was submitted by Shauna.

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“Age of Love”

best of manners

I had been dating a younger man for several years. I had never been so in sync with anyone before and he felt the same way. He said: “This is the most incredible relationship; it’s beyond my wildest dreams.” I agreed. But I knew it was over when he said he loved me so much but he was doubtful because (his very words) “I don’t want to get stuck with an old lady.” Wow, words of love from Mr. Sensitive!

—Boopy

Aftermath: It turns out I didn’t get stuck with an idiot.

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“Getting Even”

best of clashes

My wife of 20 years cheated the 1st time with her boss & the 2nd time with our Roman Catholic priest. She cried & begged me to stay. I did & watched her spend all her savings to nice me up while I saved every cent. Now she is broke & brokenhearted and can’t pay next months rent. She will be evicted. I’m leaving this weekend fully satisfied and vindicated.

—Louis

Aftermath: I won’t even say good-bye. She’ll have to figure it out.

This post was submitted by Louis.

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“Woods Sex”

best of sex

We were hanging out by my firepit with one of his female friends and it was time to go. His friend said she would go wait in the car so we could say goodbye. Then my boyfriend said (in front of her) that we should go into the woods and do it. I was in shock considering she was right there and it was my parents house. Then he had the balls to say, “No? I guess that part of our relationship is over.” Like I would’ve done that before? Keep thinking!

—Kathryn

Aftermath: He got busted that night for driving buzzed with booze in the car. Things weren’t the same after that and we broke it off a few months later.

This post was submitted by Kathryn.

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“Bad Vibes”

best of secrets!

On our first date. I kept getting a “creepy uncle” vibe from him. He was a few years older than I was, and spent most of the night telling me about how he had lost his wife and child to a drunk driver a few years earlier. When he dropped me off, he spent several minutes trying to talk himself into my house. I refused to let him in and lost his number.

—esnymos

Aftermath: I learned from a mutual friend that his wife and child were alive and well, living 2 states over while he finished off his degree.

This post was submitted by esnymos.

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