best-of

 

“Cheeze Police”

best of manners

I reached for a box of Cheez-Its. He implied I shouldn’t eat them. I said “Why not? You don’t seem to mind looking at my a**.” He grabbed one of my thighs, jiggled it, and said “It’s not your a** I’m worried about.”

— cheezitbabe

Aftermath: I broke up with him.

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This post was submitted by cheezitbabe.

5

“Blue”

best of sex

She gave me blue balls as a Valentine’s gift.

— Andrew

Aftermath: Still blue

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This post was submitted by Andrew.

3

“Parking Nazi”

best of manners

On on our first date as he drove around looking for a parking spot, an elderly couple was slow getting out of their spot, and he started screaming and swearing at them about how slow old people are. He finally gave up on them and proudly pulled into a handicapped parking space as he showed me that he has his “Granny’s” parking tag that he can use.

— MLJ

Aftermath: I was so embarrassed to be seen with this guy that I ended it quickly after that.

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This post was submitted by MLJ.

7

“O Face looked like her Brother”

best of sex

I started dating my buddy’s hot sister. We had great sex until the first time she had an orgasm while on top facing me. Her orgasm face made her look exactly like her brother. I immediately lost “it.”

— HockeyDude

Aftermath: We split up and haven’t seen her since.

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This post was submitted by HockeyDude.

4

“The Defecator”

best of manners

I was dating a guy who installed water softeners. He told me that while he was at people’s homes if the water was shut off he would just s*** there in their basement or crawl space. If it was the crawl space, he left it.

— Kimberly

Aftermath: I am no longer with him. The man I am marrying knows how to hold it and where to go.

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This post was submitted by Kimberly.

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