best-of

 

“Death of a Marriage”

best of manners

The day of my dad’s funeral my husband insisted on stopping at an archery store so he could “look around.”

— boomer

Aftermath: We are divorced.

This post was submitted by boomer.


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“Jesus is Watching”

best of sex

I can’t decide…When we were having sex and he pulled out, threw on his clothes and said “We can’t do this, Jesus is watching,” or when he told me we could never hang out on Sundays because that’s when his “Magic the Gathering” card club met.

— Red Balloon

Aftermath: He broke up with me about a week after the sex incident, saying we were “going too fast” and that he needed to be more mature for his mother.

This post was submitted by Red Balloon.


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“Barney or Fred?”

best of weird

She “attempted” suicide by eating two more than the recommended dosage of aspirin…

— Luis

Aftermath: Played along with it and talked her down until she agreed that suicide wasn’t the answer. Was worried she might try it again with a harsher drug…like Flinstones chewable vitamins.

This post was submitted by Luis.


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“She looked 18 officer…”

best of clashes

She slept over one night and we woke up late on a weekday. She said she was late for school. To my horror she had me drop her off at a local high school.

— Tom

Aftermath: I sold my car and joined the military and am now in Iraq. Is that far enough?

This post was submitted by Tom.

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“Jail Bait”

best of weird

I was 20 years old and dating a high school teacher in his early thirties. I jokingly remarked one morning that I was not much older than some of his students to which he replied, “I’m living vicariously through you because I can’t lay a hand on any of them.”

— Em

Aftermath: I bolted and never contacted him again.

This post was submitted by Em.


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