We met at a party. He was well-dressed, smart. There was dating, good sex. I asked why he didn’t work 9 to 5. He told me of his scheme that involved retail white collar theft and eBay. Then, he finally told me about prison. He gets charged in new felonies and tries to get me to testify in his case. He had his lawyer harassed me to perjure myself. Now, he writes me flowery jail letters. I read them and laugh.

—PL

Aftermath: Lasted zero days after he was arrested. He is still in jail. He tried to get his cousin to sell me his truck for bail money, but then wouldn’t sign over the title.

9

When I asked him who his best friend was, he said his ex-girlfriend. Who lived with him. Who had left him for his other “best friend,” who also lived with him.

—Anne

Aftermath: I gave it a sporting chance for about a month, but after that it wasn’t worth trying to play silver medal to his ex.

16

I knew it was over when, for the fourth time in less than two months, I woke up to him attempting to hide the fact that he had yet again peed his bed. To make matters worse, it was a twin bed covered in sheets portraying “The Simpsons” and he was 33 years old!

—V

Aftermath: Considering the fact that his cousin and best friend found out about his “habit” from my MySpace rant, it didn’t last much longer.

14

We realized that the movie “Away We Go” was too much to hold hands through because we were never going to be that in love.

—Ramona

Aftermath: I haven’t heard from him since he left the next morning.

17

He called me a c*** because I told him it was stupid that he and his ex-girlfriend had joint custody of their dogs.

—Chelle

Aftermath: We tried to make it work, but after he said he wasn’t sure if he would love his child more than his dogs, I was done. We haven’t talked in over year…thankfully.

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