““Real money””

best of chemistry

I asked him what he wanted to be doing in five years. He said “still driving a truck and finally be making real money at $15.00 per hour.” He had already been working there for five years and had started the job at $13.00 per hour.

—Ma Shell

Aftermath: We lasted two weeks after that. And the clincher? It ended when I had to give him a pen so he could sign my birthday card.


“Black Enough”

best of weird

I was having sex with a tall giant, she was 2 feet taller than me. I thought there could possibly be a relationship, but I was wrong. I was not black enough for her. F myself. I am the sexiest motherf****r that ever walked the planet. I can get any girl I want. That is for damned sure. Apparently, the rope and bombs were too hardcore for her. As I look back on the relationship, I am glad I did not care too much about it. I mean, she lived in a dream!!!


Aftermath: Stood her up seven times. She finally got the hint!


“County Fair Cheater”

best of secrets!

I had been dating him for 5 years and I was 7 months pregnant when we went separately to the county fair. He had no idea I was there and saw him kiss another girl. He came home and asked why I was pissed. When I told him, he said “Can’t I have you both?”


Aftermath: We ended our relationship. I am getting married to an amazing guy.


“Big Baby”

best of sex

I wouldn’t do a certain position cuz I was pregnant. He threw a huge tantrum like he was 5 years old.


Aftermath: Broke up with him the next day. Can’t deal with a baby when I’m about to have a baby.


“Made-up family”

best of secrets!

At a cook out, he shared with his boss that I was pregnant with twins and used that opportunity to ask for an increase in pay. I was not pregnant, did not look pregnant and we had only been dating for a month at that time.

—Ma Chell

Aftermath: It ended that night. I saw his boss about a year later and he asked about our kids, as he got regular updates from my ex on how they were doing. I told the truth to the boss and the ex lost his job.