“Black Enough”

best of weird

I was having sex with a tall giant, she was 2 feet taller than me. I thought there could possibly be a relationship, but I was wrong. I was not black enough for her. F myself. I am the sexiest motherf****r that ever walked the planet. I can get any girl I want. That is for damned sure. Apparently, the rope and bombs were too hardcore for her. As I look back on the relationship, I am glad I did not care too much about it. I mean, she lived in a dream!!!


Aftermath: Stood her up seven times. She finally got the hint!


“County Fair Cheater”

best of secrets!

I had been dating him for 5 years and I was 7 months pregnant when we went separately to the county fair. He had no idea I was there and saw him kiss another girl. He came home and asked why I was pissed. When I told him, he said “Can’t I have you both?”


Aftermath: We ended our relationship. I am getting married to an amazing guy.


“Big Baby”

best of sex

I wouldn’t do a certain position cuz I was pregnant. He threw a huge tantrum like he was 5 years old.


Aftermath: Broke up with him the next day. Can’t deal with a baby when I’m about to have a baby.


“Made-up family”

best of secrets!

At a cook out, he shared with his boss that I was pregnant with twins and used that opportunity to ask for an increase in pay. I was not pregnant, did not look pregnant and we had only been dating for a month at that time.

—Ma Chell

Aftermath: It ended that night. I saw his boss about a year later and he asked about our kids, as he got regular updates from my ex on how they were doing. I told the truth to the boss and the ex lost his job.


“His Friend”

best of manners

My boyfriend assumed that my wanting to introduce him to my best friend meant “we must set her up on a blind date with his friend.” His friend, however, was 7 years younger than her, had borrowed his dad’s truck for the night & kept touching her knee under the table. And yet, he was irritated and confused by the fact that she was not receptive to this. Then, when we got up to leave after he admitted he was actually engaged, he called us bitches and whores.


Aftermath: When my guy just sat there and laughed throughout the whole thing, I ended it that night.